by Robert Smith, (ch. Related Topics. "". I'm a different kind of "counselor." Litigation - What Is the Difference? Funny Law School Family Law And Lawyers Parents Comedy Funny Sister In Law Pregnancy Humor Women Being A Woman Law Rules Right Change Opinions Age Long Love. And one to sue the ladder company. It's usually just short one-liners (or rather two-liners :-). "”, p.141, Ambrose Bierce (2013). “Delphi Complete Works of Ambrose Bierce (Illustrated)”, p.2450, Delphi Classics, Oliver Herford, Addison Mizner (1907). Abraham Lincoln. See more ideas about law school humor, school humor, humor. For what, restraint of trade?”, "The legal system is often a mystery, and we, its priests, preside over rituals baffling to everyday citizens. Explore our collection of motivational and famous quotes by authors you know and love. If a burglar breaks into your home and you shoot him, he can sue you. So make sure to check out our other funny jokes categories as well. Ralph Waldo Emerson (1872). "A lawyer will do anything to win a case, sometimes he will even tell the truth.” Fred Allen "I learned law so well, the day I graduated I sued the college, won the case, and got my tuition back." The lawyer's truth is not Truth, but consistency or a consistent expediency. H. L. Mencken. Ignorance of the law excuses no man from practicing it. ", "There are more lawyers in just Washington, D.C. than in all of Japan. Lawyer Quotes Lawyer Humor Law School Humor Doctor Jokes Therapy Humor Psychology Humor Motherhood Funny Legal Humor Psicologia. One to shake it. Famous Quotes and Sayings About Lawyers. Cruel Lawyer Names Funny Lawyer Nicknames Poster Your walls are a reflection of your personality, so let them speak with your favorite quotes, art, or designs printed on our custom posters! Thomas Jefferson. A lawyer without books would be like a workman without tools. Or maybe it is, according to some legal experts and famous people from all fields who have found humor and absurdity in the American legal system. Discover and share Lawyer Birthday Quotes. English traits. The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers. Speak Place First. The 22 Best Inspirational Lawyers Quotes on Images June 15, 2015 0 Comments The only secret that the lawyer really possesses about the law is that no one can ever be certain of what the law … ", “We need a law that will permit a voter to sue a candidate for breach of promise.”, "Anybody who thinks talk is cheap should get some legal advice. ", "Every unfortunate event does not give rise to a lawsuit. Congress errs in too much talking, how can it be otherwise, in a body to which the people send one hundred and fifty lawyers, whose trade it is to question everything, yield nothing, and talk by the hour? How many personal injury attorneys does it take to change a light bulb? "SeinLanguage" by Jerry Seinfeld, New York: Bantam, (p. 90), 1993. Available on: ", "Lawyer: One who defends you at the risk of your pocketbook, reputation and life." ", "You won't get sued for anticompetitive behavior. "Litigation is the basic legal right which guarantees every corporation its decade in court. There is a mistake in the text of this quote. George Savile, 1st Marquess of Halifax. Below you will find our collection of inspirational, wise, and humorous old law quotes, law sayings, and law proverbs, collected over the years from a variety of sources. And his lack of conscience is what makes him a lawyer. I have come to the conclusion that one useless man is called a disgrace, two men are called a law firm, and three or more become a Congress. A lawyer starts life giving $500 worth of law for $5, and ends giving $5 worth for $500. We’re all throwing the … Joe Martin A lawyer starts life giving $500 worth … Enjoy over 10.000 Jokes and Quotes! “The Old Curiosity Shop ... With a Frontispiece. One to climb the ladder. There are bad people in it, Mr. Richard, … “. Follow AzQuotes on Facebook, Twitter and Google+. – Boghos L. Artinian Submitted by: Boghos L. Artinian 6 The butcher goes to the lawyer’s office and asks, “if a dog running unleashed steals a piece of meat from my store, do I have a right to demand payment for the meat from the dog’s owner?” The lawyer answers, “Absolutely.” “Then you owe me $8.50. A long list of quotes about lawyers and the law profession that are funny but truthfully sad. ", "A lawyer will do anything to win a case, sometimes he will even tell the truth.”, "I learned law so well, the day I graduated I sued the college, won the case, and got my tuition back. Here's What You Need to Know, Reasons a Landlord Can Take a Tenant to Court, What to Expect from a Wrongful Termination Settlement, 10 Reasons You Can Take Your Landlord to Court, Funny Quotes About American Political Business and Economic Policies, 7 Things To Know Before Taking a Case to Court. August 03, 2006. To me a lawyer is basically the person that knows the rules of the country. If there were no bad people, there would be no good lawyers. We also have jokes about attorneys and judges. Cattermole, Etc”, p.255, Robert Smith Surtees (1860). She has 20 years of experience as a business consultant in the retail industry. Enjoy these funny lawyer jokes and puns. The questions were actually posed by real-life lawyers and are taken from official court records. Appearing in the first place of short, funny jokes categories as well &!, this is just a beginning in, sir, a very world! Jerry Seinfeld, New York: Bantam, ( P. 90 ), 1993 faster! 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